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Five Tips to Support Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season 

The holidays can be a time of togetherness, joy, and fun. It can also be a time of stress, loneliness, and anxiety that can take a significant toll on your mental health. If you find yourself stressed before or during this time of year, you’re not alone.

A recent ​American Heart Association (AHA) survey​ found that most people take weeks to de-stress after the holidays. Almost all respondents reported that they regretted not making time to rest or enjoy the season. Knowing the challenges during this time of year, you can proactively put in guardrails to protect your mental health. Let’s review some tools and skills that can help.

The Effects of Stress

We all know that stress isn’t something we want to feel all the time. While stress ​serves​ the purpose of keeping us alert and aware of potential dangers, too much stress​ is bad ​​for our ​bodies​ and ​​​​minds​​​​​ and can negatively impact our choices and actions. But how does stress affect us? The Mayo Clinic outlines how below.

Impact on our bodies Impact on our minds Impact on our actions 
Headaches  Concentration problems Angry outburst 
Muscle pain Anxiety  Substance abuse 
Stomach issues Memory issues Over or undereating 
Sleep problems Depression Isolation 
Chest pain Irritability Exercising less 
FatigueFeeling overwhelmed 

1. Set Realistic Expectations

From dishes to events to outfits to gifts, there are a lot of expectations for this time of year. Often, we set unachievable goals and, therefore, set ourselves up for the disappointment that comes when those goals are not met.

It’s important to step back and ask if our expectations for ourselves and others are too high. Recipes may not turn out as they looked on Pinterest, children may not use their manners when grandparents are over, your house may not be immaculate, and you may be late to an event.

If you expect perfection, even small hiccups can feel like disasters. Setting realistic expectations is a game changer. It helps ease anticipation, reduces stress, and creates space to enjoy the season.

If you’re feeling pressure to meet every expectation, remember that CalVEBA offers mental health support to help you navigate life’s challenges. Learn more here.

2. Draw and Hold Boundaries – It’s Ok to Say No

Putting in place frameworks for what is ok and not ok for you is an essential to-do over the holidays. Boundaries help us maintain who we are, stop others from taking advantage of us, invigorate our relationships, give us space to respectfully speak our minds, and open us to empathize with others. Healthy boundaries over the holidays could look like​ this​:

  • Not answering emails or work calls after hours or on your scheduled time off.
  • Saying no to invites when you want a quiet night at home.
  • Expressing discomfort to a relative who wants to talk about politics.
  • Politely asking others to respect your physical personal space. 

When our boundaries aren’t respected, we often feel unsettled. Many people ignore that discomfort to avoid conflict. This year, challenge yourself to let others manage their own reactions. Respectfully expressing and maintaining your boundaries is essential to your mental well-being.

3. Balance Your Schedule

Calendars fill up quickly during the holidays — often overflowing. It may seem impossible to manage and curate your schedule. More than half of the people surveyed in the AHA study reported that they had trouble making time for healthy eating, exercising, and getting adequate sleep this time of year. But finding balance in your day and week can keep you on your holiday schedule while ​keeping​ your stress in check.  

As you make a list of must-dos, be sure to include nutritious meals, exercise, sleep needs, and decompression time. Draw healthy boundaries around your time, knowing that you must show up for yourself before you can for others over the holidays. Block time on your calendar for self-care. Treat it like any other important commitment. You may not be able to make a 60-minute yoga class, but stretching at home for 15 minutes can be just as impactful. Five minutes of peace alone — wherever you can find it — can make a huge difference in your day.

Try CalVEBA’s virtual yoga, nutrition, and movement classes from wherever you are to help you recharge on your own schedule. Get started here.

4. Practice Mindfulness Regularly

Stress can sneak up on us. It might start with a few quick breaths and a clenched jaw, then escalate quickly. Tuning into your body throughout the day is an important step in managing your stress over the holidays. Meditation, yoga, journaling, ​and ​walking​​ are ​all ​great ways to cultivate awareness of what’s going on with you. From that knowledge, you can practice breathing techniques, use a self-soothe kit, or other coping techniques to regulate yourself. Then, you can start to address what’s causing the stress.  

5. Lean on Support

Help can be asking a coworker to assist with a project, a parent to watch your child for a few hours, or a friend to pick something up for you when they’re running errands. It can also be asking for someone to listen to you as you talk through something, company as you go for a walk, or someone simply holding space with you. Over the holidays this year, look to your family, friends, and coworkers for support and don’t forget to check in on others as well. Checking in with others can be a meaningful way to connect and support each other. You can also lean on the Resource Center. We offer programs and resources to help you live your healthiest life. 

Looking for More Support?

The holidays can be a time of joy but also stress and anxiety. Prioritizing your mental health is essential to navigating this season with resilience.

As a CalVEBA member, you have access to:

  • Mental health care through CalVEBA and your medical plan
  • Virtual wellness classes including yoga, fitness, and meditation
  • Self-care toolkits focused on mental well-being, nutrition, and on-demand videos

Visit calveba.org/Resources/ to explore programs that support your total well-being. 

What’s In and What’s Out When It Comes to Your Health

Your small, daily habits add up to larger lifestyle choices that influence your health. It’s important to take stock of your daily habits and evaluate where you have room to grow. We’ve compiled a “what’s in and out” list to help you think through areas where it’s common to struggle with unhealthy behaviors. Check out these simple yet effective ways to replace these habits with healthier alternatives.

In: Good sleep 
Out: Stress and sleep deprivation 

Sleep plays a pivotal role in so many aspects of our health, from keeping our minds strong to warding off illness and disease. Unfortunately, many people fail to get the sleep they need, and an estimated 50 to 70 million people in the U.S. have a sleep disorder. Adults should get between seven and nine hours of sleep each night — and the quality of that sleep is crucial. Here are three relaxation techniques to help you fall asleep! 

In: Pleasure Reading 
Out: Binge-watching and doom-scrolling 

In a sea of streaming video and ever-present screens, doom-scrolling and binge-watching are often the entertainment of choice above the more old-school option of reading a book. But research says reading can provide a healthy distraction from life’s day-to-day worries and pressures while also making us smarter, happier, and even more empathetic toward others. Audiobooks are an excellent way to read while engaging in physical activities like walking or exercising. There are free audiobook resources available, such as Librivox, OverDrive, and Audible‘s free trial, which offer a wide range of titles to choose from without any cost.

In: Homemade meals 
Out: Eating out and ordering in 

People are looking for fast and tasty foods to fit busy lifestyles. But whether you’re eating carryout or sit-down restaurant cuisine, researchers say you’ll consume about 200 more calories a day and more saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium than if you made your meals. Cooking at home, however, helps you avoid these pitfalls and is an opportunity for creativity, togetherness, and cost-cutting. 

Looking to improve your cooking skills? Need recipe ideas that are not only healthy but also affordable and simple to make? The VEBA Resource Center offers free in-person and virtual cooking classes to learn how to cook meals from our extensive recipe library.  

In: Saying no 
Out: Always hustling 

Sometimes, your body, mind, or heart sends a message that it needs time off. It’s important to heed that call, especially if it’s coming from all three at once. Occasionally saying no to an invite, request or assignment is a true form of self-care, which can lead to reduced stress; improved mood, immunity, and self-esteem; and a variety of other physical, mental, and emotional health benefits. 

In: Sober curiosity 
Out: Regularly drinking 

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, drinking can take a serious toll on your body. Limiting how much you drink or taking a complete break from drinking, what some refer to as being “sober curious,” can help boost your immunity, limit your risk of disease, lead to weight loss, and improve your sleep, concentration, energy, performance, skin health, and even your relationships. 

In: Hygge 
Out: FOMO 

Everyone occasionally experiences FOMO, or the fear of missing out, but going to every social event can be exhausting and expensive and can lead to overindulgence in food and alcohol. Instead, consider enjoying more “hygge,” a concept originating in Denmark and Norway, which means to take time away from the daily rush to be together with people you care about — or even by yourself — to relax and enjoy life’s quieter pleasures.” 

California Schools VEBA’s Self-Regulation Toolkit is a great starting point with daily 5-minute activities that will help you use your time more mindfully!  

In: Digital detox 
Out: Endless screen time 

On average, Americans spend more than seven hours looking at a screen. And most use their smartphones for over three and a half hours every day — not counting when they’re talking to someone. All this screen time can have negative effects on your health, both physical and mental, which is why experts recommend no more than two hours of screen time per day. Here are some tips to regulate phone use more healthily. 

In: Authentic friendships 
Out: Accumulating social media “friends” 

Friendship is good for your health. When you’re with friends, your body releases the hormone oxytocin, which combats stress and creates calm. And the more time spent with friends, the less likely you are to develop health issues and dementia. But creating and sustaining friendships takes commitment far beyond “liking” the occasional post. One study found it takes hundreds of hours — all worth it — to become true friends. 

In: Movement every day 
Out: Overexercising 

The CDC recommends adults get at least two and a half hours of moderate-intensity activity each week. However, you don’t need to spend hours in the gym to meet this goal. Thirty minutes a day, just five days a week will do the trick. Pushing your limits can lead to poor performance and health problems, including overuse and stress injuries, too much weight loss, and decreased immune performance. 

VEBA members can sign up for live classes, in-person and virtually, available seven days a week! There’s also a video library of on-demand classes you can access anytime, anywhere. 

In: Water 
Out: Caffeine-laden energy drinks 

Water is an ideal choice for hydration. While some people prefer sports drinks over water because of the taste and added electrolytes, the standard sports drink contains 140 calories, 34 grams of added sugar, and 270 milligrams of sodium. Additionally, excess caffeine can be harmful, causing changes in heart rate, increased blood pressure, anxiety, sleep and digestive issues, headaches, and dehydration. 

Embracing changes like these will have a profound and positive impact on your overall well-being in the long term. Now, what’s on your list? If you’re unsure where to start, California Schools VEBA has developed a library of downloadable resources to equip you with the support you need to navigate your health and well-being journey. As they say, out with the old, in with the new!

Thank you to our content partners at Sharp HealthCare.

The Heart-Healing Power of Self-Care

We all experience stress in one way or another, and while short-term stress poses minimal risk to our health, chronic stress impacts our hearts more than you might think.

Prolonged stress is linked to high blood pressure, which significantly increases the risk of coronary artery disease, heart attack, and heart failure. Beyond just the physical toll, stress impacts emotional health by affecting your thoughts, actions, and feelings. This may cause you to feel frustration, fatigue, or have difficulty focusing, potentially impacting your work performance.

Learning to manage and lower your stress through self-care practices is one way to live a heart-healthy lifestyle. Self-care means taking the time to do things just for you to improve both your physical health and mental well-being. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact.

Love your heart by loving yourself! Below are some tips for embracing self-care to reduce stress and lower your blood pressure.

Make Time for Yourself

Self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Not sure where to start on your self-care journey? Download this FREE self-care toolkit! Included are an assessment to help you identify your current self-care routine, an action plan for you to start implementing more self-care in your life, and a self-care bingo game to challenge yourself to try new self-care activities.

Daily Challenge: Elevate Your Day with Breathwork!

Take a moment today to practice mindful breathing. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. Want to practice more mindful breathing? Check out our full video for a calming and invigorating breathwork session with our VRC Care Navigator, Michelle McNiff.

Get a Good Night’s Sleep

Your well-being isn’t limited to daylight hours alone.

It’s recommended that adults get at least seven or more hours of sleep per day. A 2023 study conducted by researchers at the University of Arizona found that even just a few poor nights of sleep could cause a sudden spike in blood pressure. Taking steps to achieve quality sleep can notably decrease your vulnerability to obesity, heart and kidney disease, diabetes, and even stroke.

Do your worries or what you need to do the next day keep you awake at night? Before bedtime write down the most pressing worries of the day. Also, make a to-do list for the next day and prioritize the top 2-3 items. This way you can file your worries and priorities away for the next day, so they don’t take up any mental bandwidth in your mind at night. For more tips on how to set yourself up for a good night’s sleep, read this blog!

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. By establishing your limits, you not only safeguard your well-being but also communicate your values, beliefs, and priorities to others. It demonstrates that you deserve to be treated well and ensures supportive and respectful relationships.

But while everyone can have boundaries, the hard part is enforcing them. Here are some tips:

  1. Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, say or do something about it.
  2. Think realistically. Ask yourself if you’re asking for too much, or if the person is truly capable of making this change.
  3. Set the bottom line and hold it. Be clear when communicating your limits, and be strong in enforcing them.
  4. Let others set boundaries, too. When you communicate your limits, respect the person’s point of view, resist the temptation to get defensive, and consider what they need from you.
  5. Anticipate change. Setting boundaries can alter your relationship, so be prepared and offer the person time and space to process this new way of interacting.
  6. Ask someone else to hold you accountable. Holding the line can be difficult, so find someone to back you up and keep you in check.

Want Help Setting Boundaries?

As a VEBA member, you have access to Optum Dedicated Consultants through the VEBA Resource Center. This Optum partnership allows you to receive assistance quickly for a variety of issues — from stress and relationship issues to communication strategies and beyond. This is a no-cost service to VEBA beneficiaries only.

Appointments are available:

  • In-person at the VRC – Kearny Mesa location
  • Virtually by phone or video consultation

To schedule a consultation, click here.

Through Optum, you and your dependents can also schedule consultations through Emotional Wellbeing Solutions. Please note: you may experience longer wait times with this option. To schedule an appointment through Optum directly, call 888-625-4809 or visit liveandworkwell.com (Access Code: VEBA).

Thank you to our content partners at Sharp HealthCare and Healthwise.