Five Tips to Support Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season

The holidays can be a time of togetherness, joy, and fun. It can also be a time of stress, loneliness, and anxiety that can take a significant toll on your mental health. If you find yourself stressed before or during this time of year, you’re not alone.

A recent American Heart Association (AHA) survey found that most people take weeks to de-stress after the holidays. Almost all respondents reported that they regretted not making time to rest or enjoy the season. Knowing the challenges during this time of year, you can proactively put in guardrails to protect your mental health. Let’s review some tools and skills that can help.

The Effects of Stress

We all know that stress isn’t something we want to feel all the time. While stress serves the purpose of keeping us alert and aware of potential dangers, too much stress is bad for our bodies and minds and can negatively impact our choices and actions. But how does stress affect us? The Mayo Clinic outlines how below.

Impact on our bodies	Impact on our minds	Impact on our actions
Headaches	Concentration problems	Angry outburst
Muscle pain	Anxiety	Substance abuse
Stomach issues	Memory issues	Over or undereating
Sleep problems	Depression	Isolation
Chest pain	Irritability	Exercising less
Fatigue	Feeling overwhelmed

1. Set Realistic Expectations

From dishes to events to outfits to gifts, there are a lot of expectations for this time of year. Often, we set unachievable goals and, therefore, set ourselves up for the disappointment that comes when those goals are not met.

It’s important to step back and ask if our expectations for ourselves and others are too high. Recipes may not turn out as they looked on Pinterest, children may not use their manners when grandparents are over, your house may not be immaculate, and you may be late to an event.

If you expect perfection, even small hiccups can feel like disasters. Setting realistic expectations is a game changer. It helps ease anticipation, reduces stress, and creates space to enjoy the season.

If you’re feeling pressure to meet every expectation, remember that CalVEBA offers mental health support to help you navigate life’s challenges. Learn more here.

2. Draw and Hold Boundaries – It’s Ok to Say No

Putting in place frameworks for what is ok and not ok for you is an essential to-do over the holidays. Boundaries help us maintain who we are, stop others from taking advantage of us, invigorate our relationships, give us space to respectfully speak our minds, and open us to empathize with others. Healthy boundaries over the holidays could look like this:

Not answering emails or work calls after hours or on your scheduled time off.
Saying no to invites when you want a quiet night at home.
Expressing discomfort to a relative who wants to talk about politics.
Politely asking others to respect your physical personal space.

When our boundaries aren’t respected, we often feel unsettled. Many people ignore that discomfort to avoid conflict. This year, challenge yourself to let others manage their own reactions. Respectfully expressing and maintaining your boundaries is essential to your mental well-being.

3. Balance Your Schedule

Calendars fill up quickly during the holidays — often overflowing. It may seem impossible to manage and curate your schedule. More than half of the people surveyed in the AHA study reported that they had trouble making time for healthy eating, exercising, and getting adequate sleep this time of year. But finding balance in your day and week can keep you on your holiday schedule while keeping your stress in check.

As you make a list of must-dos, be sure to include nutritious meals, exercise, sleep needs, and decompression time. Draw healthy boundaries around your time, knowing that you must show up for yourself before you can for others over the holidays. Block time on your calendar for self-care. Treat it like any other important commitment. You may not be able to make a 60-minute yoga class, but stretching at home for 15 minutes can be just as impactful. Five minutes of peace alone — wherever you can find it — can make a huge difference in your day.

Try CalVEBA’s virtual yoga, nutrition, and movement classes from wherever you are to help you recharge on your own schedule. Get started here.

4. Practice Mindfulness Regularly

Stress can sneak up on us. It might start with a few quick breaths and a clenched jaw, then escalate quickly. Tuning into your body throughout the day is an important step in managing your stress over the holidays. Meditation, yoga, journaling, and walking are all great ways to cultivate awareness of what’s going on with you. From that knowledge, you can practice breathing techniques, use a self-soothe kit, or other coping techniques to regulate yourself. Then, you can start to address what’s causing the stress.

5. Lean on Support

Help can be asking a coworker to assist with a project, a parent to watch your child for a few hours, or a friend to pick something up for you when they’re running errands. It can also be asking for someone to listen to you as you talk through something, company as you go for a walk, or someone simply holding space with you. Over the holidays this year, look to your family, friends, and coworkers for support and don’t forget to check in on others as well. Checking in with others can be a meaningful way to connect and support each other. You can also lean on the Resource Center. We offer programs and resources to help you live your healthiest life.

Looking for More Support?

The holidays can be a time of joy but also stress and anxiety. Prioritizing your mental health is essential to navigating this season with resilience.

As a CalVEBA member, you have access to:

Mental health care through CalVEBA and your medical plan
Virtual wellness classes including yoga, fitness, and meditation
Self-care toolkits focused on mental well-being, nutrition, and on-demand videos

Visit calveba.org/Resources/ to explore programs that support your total well-being.

Five Steps for Building Healthy Boundaries: Your Guide to Balance & Better Relationships

“I feel stressed when my family expects me to attend every event, when I need personal time.”

“I’m always working late because I’m asked to take on extra tasks outside of my role.”

“I feel exhausted when I attend too many social events.”

Do any of the statements above sound familiar?

If so, you’re not alone! Many people struggle with balancing personal, professional, and social boundaries. This post will help you identify, set, and maintain healthy boundaries to improve your overall well-being.

Step 1: Awareness: Know your Boundaries

Personal boundaries are limits we set in relationships to maintain health and well-being through clear communication, self-awareness, and assertiveness. Feelings of discomfort, stress, or resentment are a sign that you need to set clearer boundaries, whether due to others overstepping or your own overcommitment.

Step 2: Clarity: What Boundary Setting Sounds Like

Be clear about your needs. Preserving your peace is power. You’re allowed to say “no.” Try writing out a few boundaries using clear, assertive language that communicates your needs without blaming or shaming others. Having these ready will help when situations arise.

Examples:

“I’m not available at that time.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“Thank you for inviting me, but I need some time for myself.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“Not at this time.”
“I’m not comfortable with this.”

Step 3: Communicate: What to Do and Say

Communicate your boundaries clearly and confidently. Consider who you need to talk to, the best time and method, and how to express your boundary kindly and firmly.

Example: “I’ve decided that I need to focus on my personal well-being, so I won’t be able to attend every family event this year. I hope you understand and support my decision.“

Tips to Try

Use confident body language

Face the person, make eye contact, and use a steady, appropriate volume and tone of voice

Be respectful

Be firm but avoid yelling, put-downs, or the silent treatment.

Plan Ahead

Before a difficult discussion, know what you want to say and how to say it.

Compromise

Consider the other person’s needs when appropriate. While not always necessary, compromise is part of healthy relationships.

Step 4: Stick to Your Boundaries

Uphold your boundaries with these strategies:

Check in with yourself
Periodically ask: “Am I honoring my own boundaries?

Be Consistent
Maintain boundaries, allowing rare and intentional exceptions.

Be prepared for pushback
Have a plan for handling resistance without giving in

Questions for maintaining health boundaries
What will I do if someone challenges or violates my boundary?
How can I remind myself that it’s okay to set boundaries for my own well-being?
What support do I need from others to maintain my boundaries?

Step 5: Reflect & Revise

Reflect on how your boundaries are working and whether they need modification.

Is this boundary still serving me?
Have I noticed positive changes since setting this boundary?
Do I need to communicate any new or updated boundaries?

Remember

Boundaries protect your emotional well-being and help you navigate relationships and obligations with clarity and confidence. Be kind to yourself as you practice setting and maintaining them.

Looking for additional guidance on boundaries?

Consider Care Navigation

Meet with a Care Navigator (virtual or in person) to develop a personalized plan for a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Your plan will be uniquely crafted to reflect your personal story, values, and experiences. By collaborating with your Care Navigator, you’ll create a customized strategy to help you become the best version of yourself.

Schedule an Appointment

An Act of Gratitude a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

The dawning of a new year is often when we think about the things we are grateful for. However, experts reveal actively practicing gratitude can improve our lives year-round.

What is Practicing Gratitude?

Practicing gratitude means saying “thanks” and appreciating everything important to you and good in your life.

Benefits of Practicing Gratitude

According to researchers at the University of California, Davis, gratitude can improve emotional and physical health and help to strengthen relationships. Those who practiced gratitude, they found, regularly reported they:

Felt generally positive about their lives and optimistic about the future
Exercised more regularly
Experienced fewer negative physical symptoms and illnesses
Were more likely to make progress toward reaching personal, academic, and professional goals
Felt more alert, energetic, enthusiastic, and attentive
Noticed improved moods, greater self-esteem, and higher levels of positive emotions
Had a better sense of feeling connected to others
Experienced better-quality sleep
Were more empathetic and more likely to help others
Experienced less negativity and improved resilience in trying times

Ways to Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can be practiced in a variety of ways, both small and large. Practicing gratitude means saying “thanks” and appreciating what’s important to you. Here are some tips that can help you get started.

Take time each day to reflect.
- Spend a few minutes at the end of each day and think about, or write down, what you are grateful for that day. This could include people, events, or experiences.
- Take note of the things and moments that bring you joy or make you feel grounded and refer to them in times of stress or anxiety.
Make time to thank people you know.
- Call or email just to say “thank you.”
- Write a letter to express your gratitude or appreciation.
- Write thank-you notes and say “thank you” when you receive gifts or favors.
Thank people you don’t know.
- Wave “thank you” when a person lets your car in during heavy traffic.
- Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper about something a stranger did for you.
Give thanks for the abilities you have.
- Even if you are feeling burdened by your health, think about things that you are still able to do.
Start a family ritual of gratitude.
- Give thanks before a meal.
- Share what you are grateful for before going to bed.
Find creative ways to give thanks.
- Plant a garden of gratitude.
- Take pictures of things you are grateful for.

If we look at each day and all the little moments within it as a gift, our lives will improve in a variety of ways.

Thank you to our content partners at Sharp HealthCare and Healthwise.

The VEBA Resource Center offers Gratitude Meditation classes. You will be guided to focus on the positive in your life: as you open to soak in the good all around you, you naturally align with the state of receptivity and abundance. Great for beginner and advanced experience levels. Check out our calendar to sign up for an upcoming class.